Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Sollu 'alan nabi
"You are about to overcome something you've been dealing with. Your mind and heart will soon be at peace again. Be patient. Everything will be okay"
Above is a quote I read while scrolling my instagram account. It reminded me to my fabulous 2017. Yeah let's just say it as such *eyes rolling up*. Guys I'm taking you to my past. And it's not something nice. Haha.
So most of my friends have known my struggle in 2017. It was indeed the toughest year of my life (if I can say. Housemanship nanti taktau la macam mana :,D). I still remember the 2 occasions that took away 2 of my dreams. Isn't this sad guysss? Now cry for me. But I do not wish to tell what was happening. Maybe later time or not at all. It was a total dismay because it was happening consecutively. Kira sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga la.
It took some times for me to regain my strength and focus. Alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin Allah sent me many angelic people to console me. My parents, family and my friends. Thank you *insert beating heart*. So I moved on. Or so I thought. Not realizing that I still had anger inside me and still disappointed with what was happening, I just continued my life normally. Life must go on I thought.
Unfortunately that was not the case. Deep in my heart, I was unable to fathom the situation. There was guilty and overwhelming feeling. I was actually torn up and little did I know I was bleak. But Alhamdulillah no deppression (I diagnosed myself. Hiks). As a consequence, I never had a good sleep. For months! Half of the year, I got the same nightmares that woke me up with sweat and fear. I thought the same thing happening over and over again. Ya rabb, now I came to understand how person with nightmare feels. It's totally not good. You feel sick, you feel haunted and afraid.
So one day, I took time back, thinking and pondering. I have been saying that I already moved on, I accepted the fate befallen. I talked to Allah and then I believed maybe I was not sincere enough when saying all the counseling to myself. That day, I really decided to let go absolutely. I talked to Him clearly and as loud as only my ears can listen. Because I said in Malay so I write Malay also here. This is what I said:
'Ya Allah, aku ikhlas terima semua ujian Engkau, aku ikhlas memaafkan dan aku memohon ampun'
Then I closed my eyes, took deep breath in and let out. And Subhanallah, right after that, there was no more nightmare. I sleep peacefully and my EEg now stable and pretty. Ok I never do this test, just assuming. Haha.
Soon after, I realized that there were so many hikmah behind all that took place. Truly, bad things is not always bad. Sometime it's blessing in disguise. I just need to ikhlaskan hati to appreciate what Allah has written for me.
It's okay to be sad, to be disappointed, to resent and whatsoever. For days, months or years. But do not let it takes whole your life, my dear. It's not worth it. It's bad only at moment it occured and when it passed, it's no big deal anymore. It was bearable and you are here living. What Allah said is definitely true, He will not test us with anything beyond our power to control. You can do it. You will go through it successfully. There is lesson to grab and bigger present waiting. Be strong!
Lastly, this is what we call dunya. It can never be the same as jannah. We will be tested here, feel sad. Sometime. Fail the other time. Experience it, go through it with a heart of a warrior, never lose hope with His Rahmah and get jannah inshaallah :)
I hope Ramadan will be the right month for you to clear your mind from anything that burden you and give you peace of heart. Talk to someone ;)
I pray that all of you be given happiness in this dunya and akhirah.
There is door for all of us.
Love,
Imah Rosse
Sollu 'alan nabi
"You are about to overcome something you've been dealing with. Your mind and heart will soon be at peace again. Be patient. Everything will be okay"
Above is a quote I read while scrolling my instagram account. It reminded me to my fabulous 2017. Yeah let's just say it as such *eyes rolling up*. Guys I'm taking you to my past. And it's not something nice. Haha.
So most of my friends have known my struggle in 2017. It was indeed the toughest year of my life (if I can say. Housemanship nanti taktau la macam mana :,D). I still remember the 2 occasions that took away 2 of my dreams. Isn't this sad guysss? Now cry for me. But I do not wish to tell what was happening. Maybe later time or not at all. It was a total dismay because it was happening consecutively. Kira sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga la.
It took some times for me to regain my strength and focus. Alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin Allah sent me many angelic people to console me. My parents, family and my friends. Thank you *insert beating heart*. So I moved on. Or so I thought. Not realizing that I still had anger inside me and still disappointed with what was happening, I just continued my life normally. Life must go on I thought.
Unfortunately that was not the case. Deep in my heart, I was unable to fathom the situation. There was guilty and overwhelming feeling. I was actually torn up and little did I know I was bleak. But Alhamdulillah no deppression (I diagnosed myself. Hiks). As a consequence, I never had a good sleep. For months! Half of the year, I got the same nightmares that woke me up with sweat and fear. I thought the same thing happening over and over again. Ya rabb, now I came to understand how person with nightmare feels. It's totally not good. You feel sick, you feel haunted and afraid.
So one day, I took time back, thinking and pondering. I have been saying that I already moved on, I accepted the fate befallen. I talked to Allah and then I believed maybe I was not sincere enough when saying all the counseling to myself. That day, I really decided to let go absolutely. I talked to Him clearly and as loud as only my ears can listen. Because I said in Malay so I write Malay also here. This is what I said:
'Ya Allah, aku ikhlas terima semua ujian Engkau, aku ikhlas memaafkan dan aku memohon ampun'
Then I closed my eyes, took deep breath in and let out. And Subhanallah, right after that, there was no more nightmare. I sleep peacefully and my EEg now stable and pretty. Ok I never do this test, just assuming. Haha.
Soon after, I realized that there were so many hikmah behind all that took place. Truly, bad things is not always bad. Sometime it's blessing in disguise. I just need to ikhlaskan hati to appreciate what Allah has written for me.
It's okay to be sad, to be disappointed, to resent and whatsoever. For days, months or years. But do not let it takes whole your life, my dear. It's not worth it. It's bad only at moment it occured and when it passed, it's no big deal anymore. It was bearable and you are here living. What Allah said is definitely true, He will not test us with anything beyond our power to control. You can do it. You will go through it successfully. There is lesson to grab and bigger present waiting. Be strong!
Lastly, this is what we call dunya. It can never be the same as jannah. We will be tested here, feel sad. Sometime. Fail the other time. Experience it, go through it with a heart of a warrior, never lose hope with His Rahmah and get jannah inshaallah :)
I hope Ramadan will be the right month for you to clear your mind from anything that burden you and give you peace of heart. Talk to someone ;)
I pray that all of you be given happiness in this dunya and akhirah.
There is door for all of us.
Love,
Imah Rosse
blessing in disguise. what a word. keep writing ahead.
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