Monday, September 11, 2017

A movement of heart by aunty

Assalamualaikum w.r.w.b
Sollu alan nabiy

Last Sunday, my aunt asked me "don't you want to go there helping them?" (referring to Rohingya) while we were watching a documentary about the current issue. That question had left me deep in thought. 
It indeed had been my dream all long and that dream still alive in my mind and heart. And that is also a reason I delayed going into marriage. Hikhik. I feel like something is undone. I hope if I were to marry someone one day, he is super supportive and a real #creativeforce. I remember watching a news about muslims in Kosovo where they were denied a place and chased out of the country (and I actually can remember it clearly). I was around 5 years back then and I couldn't understand it when my mom said they were driven away from their own country. How was it possible. I just couldn't brain it with my 5 year old logic mind.  Why must one be banished from one's country?
At the same time, there was (is) also problem in Palestine. Now you know how long Palestine had been an issue. 
Although the 'volunteer' feeling did not appear right away, I always wanted to help those people until my secondary school years, I wish to go to Palestine to offer help eventhough I did not know how. 
And now, I already know the mean I can help but I could not raise my hand just yet. I realize that volunteerism is good but no volunteer is good without knowledge (and experience). I read 'Menghayati Kerja Sukarela' written by Azizan Bahari and that book did taught me a lot about the field of volunteerism. I admit that I feel stupid, so helpless and such a loser but I'm quick at consoling myself that even improving myself is not a bad thing. I'm fully aware that reaching the top at fastest speed is good but continue climbing (even slowly) is no lesser. I admit that sometime I became envious with few friends who can go anywhere freely but I'm sure being here and do good to ordinary people is also 'pahala'.

Picture credit to: Google and owner

I will be there. I will be where my mind had been. I will be where I dream to be. It's just matter of time and I'm working on it. 
Pray for me, aunt :')

'So whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it' 

Al-Zalzalah 99:7

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Merdeka. 10 Zulhijjah. Cinta

Baru-baru ini (31/8/2017) Malaysia telah menyambut Hari Kemerdekaannya yang ke-60. Mashaallah long live Malaysia in peace and harmony. Ameen. Dan baru-baru ini juga seluruh umat Islam menyambut Hari Raya Aidil Adha.

Samaada sesetengah kita menyedarinya atau tidak, kedua-dua hari yang bersejarah ini mempunyai persamaan yang sangat dekat sekalipun mereka adalah entiti yang berbeza. Salah satu persamaannya ialah, ini kali pertama saya menyambutnya di Malaysia selepas 6 tahun. Hehehe. Tiba-tiba rasa kena buat two separate post. Hiks.

Tanpa perlu menjelaskan definisi pun, ramai memahami maksud kemerdekaan dan hari raya korban. Tapi, memahami maksud sahaja tidak cukup. Yang lebih penting daripada itu adalah memaknai pengertian kedua-duanya. Sekalipun merdeka dan aidil adha adalah perayaan yang berbeza, keduanya adalah natijah (result) daripada kerja keras air mata dan darah ramai orang sebelum kita. Kemerdekaan negara dikecapi kerana adanya pengorbanan daripada para pahlawan, pemimpin negara, ulama serta ramai lagi orang terdahulu. Sementara Aidil Adha sendiri adalah bukti pengorbanan Nabi Ibrahim dan keluarganya saat diperintah oleh Allah untuk menyembelih anaknya Ismail melalui mimpi (mimpi para nabi adalah wahyu Allah. Mimpi kita syiton je lebih yee).

Apakah yang mendorong pengorbanan?

Tidak ada yang lebih besar mampu mendorong kepada seseorang untuk memberikan harta atau tenaganya bahkan nyawanya melainkan cinta.

Cintalah yang meneguhkan hati dan jiwa.
Cintalah yang menolak jasad bekerja keras.
Cintalah yang selalu membuat orang menghulur tanpa syarat.
Cintalah yang membakarkan semangat.
Maka cintalah yang membuatkan pengorbanan itu seolah mudah.
Sekalipun itu amatlah sukar.

Pengorbanan adalah hal terbesar yang dilakukan cinta. Seseorang belum benar cinta sehingga dia sanggup berkorban untuk perkara yang dicintainya.

Nabi Ismail membuktikan cinta kepada tuhan dengan mempertaruhkan nyawa anaknya walaupun itu sulit bagi seorang ayah sehingga Allah menggantikannya dengan hari besar umat Islam. Aidil Adha.
Jika orang sebelum ini adalah manusia yang mementingkan diri, penuh kebencian dan bermalas-malas, pasti keamanan Malaysia seperti hari ini tidak akan terjadi. Cinta kepada tanah air lah yang melahirkan pengorbanan yang tidak sikit hebatnya.

Semoga pengorbanan-pengorbanan mereka tidak disia-siakan generasi hari ini. Semoga kita sama-sama hidup harmoni dalam kepelbagaian etnik, bangsa dan agama. Saling menghormati, bertoleransi dan saling berbudi. Kerana itulah sekecil-kecil yang boleh kita lakukan.

Sedangkan kehidupan kita sendiri memerlukan kepada cinta dan pengorbanan seorang ibu. 

Sebenarnya banyak lagi persamaan pada dua tarikh ini, tapi takpe, I leave the rest for you to figure. Hehehe

Salam Kemerdekaan dan Salam Aidil Adha (walaupun dah lambat ekeke)
#SayNoToRacism #NegarakuSehatiSejiwa

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Amni vs my way to 'good mother'

Almost 3 months since my bfg (back for good) and here is my first post since then (what an 'amazing productive').
My sister stays with us most of the time (she goes back and forth Ipoh-Gerik) and that means here is Amni with us and her just-turn-1-year-old brother. And we know now we are in SEA Game feverrr. Kaitan? Later.
Amni has been all good (she is still good btw) and very talkative too. She just started her school and always trying to use new words, which is good but sometime in wrong time and place. Haha. I remember in my early days home, she acted all good showing me this and that but as times pass by, her love faded away. Well I'm not her favourite in the first place (and am not dreaming to be one pun). 
Since my sister is working, once in a time I have to look after her two children. It kinda challenging to take care both but I keep thinking that this is chance for me to practice and improve my knowledge in raising kids. Who knows if the future is near. Cewwahh. (Please make it very near, god).
Along the process, I realized some problems and actually we (the mothers and aunties) got headache how to overcome it. 

1) Amni is no easy child. She wants what she wants. And she directly throw tantrum every times we didn't grant her wish. We tried to use let-her-cry-her-uvula-out-she-will-be-calm method but it totally FAIL. Her shout was too loud until one of us had to say 'just give her already' otherwise all of us become deaf *sigh*. One day I remembered one tip but I cannot recall the source which is 'time's up method (rebrand by me ahaks) and it worksss. So happy I think I can be mother now. Haha. How I did it? Amni was so preoccupied with smart phone and it was Maghrib at the time. So I just said to her 'after I finish my prayers you have to give me back the phone,'. Make sure she understands say yes to the agreement. Then, after I finished my prayers she easily hand me the phone although she first said 'solat la lagi,' hahaha acting like ustazah pulak. So happy I think I can be mother now. Hikhik.

2) Sometime we could not avoid using 'that is not nice Amni' in order to tell her that she is doing something wrong. You know..children learn very fast. Very very fast. Until the time I'm writing this, she keeps using that sentence to smash us back. However in very wrong way. For example there is one time I asked her to pray but she refused and continue playing with her toys and she was like 'Tak baik tau macam tu' with some additional words 'jangan la ajak Amni solat..' How mehh? So what do you use in replace of this poisonous word? We can't get backfired all the times :'D

3) Since I'm not her favourite, Amni always show that bias. It must be her Makteh opah or Anik. One time, I went to pick her at school. And it is very unusual for me to do so. As soon as she entered the car there she asked 'where are Makteh and Anik?' I answered nicely thinking that she just want to have a talk 'makteh and anik at home' to which she replied 'I don't want you to pick me. I want only Makteh and Anik. I was so angry (first because I left my movie to fetch her, second how dare she said that when I abandoned my movie for her. Grrr) and intended to teach her how to 'bersyukur' haha. So I stopped my car by the roadside and said 'get out and I'll send this car to Makteh and Anik. They will take you,' and she instantly gave me her crying face ekekeke main-main sangat dengan your most garang aunty (she rated me with that. Fine!). Do you think I did the right thing? Now I guess there is still long way for me :,D

4) As Fateh entering his phase knowing people and strangers, he is becoming difficult to handle. Always looking for her mama mama mama. He didn't want me to cuddle him and when I put him down, he cried. How mehhh. Because I enjoyed SEA game, I tried to lure him to cheer the athlete with me. 
'Look look at the uncle playing'
'Look wahh that auntie so good la..'
He stopped crying when the crowd make some noise but after a while cried again for her mama. But one thing for sure, he knows how to cheer already. Yayy.. With his hand waving up and down he shouted 'ya ya (Malaysia)'. Wahhh proud aunty. Good boy. You grow up faster we will watch match together ok. And I think I know my fate in next SEA Game :,)

Thank you for reading my nonsence. Actually I'm just warming up again. And every times I write it's a warm up session. Hahaha.

To Amni and Fateh and Maryam too and Muhammad (banyak pulak anak sedara I) I love you so much. May you grow in good health under His blessings. #WeLoveYou #WeMakeDuaForYou

Assalamualaikum (I forgot to say salam and sollu alan nabiy :))

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Success. Redefine. Very fine :')


Allahumma solli ala muhammad.

Assalamualaikum and hye gorgeous, handsome, beauty🙆

Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan is my favourite noww (almost hari hari tengok video beliau tanpa jemu haha) because he can explain Al-Quran in simple way and through him (and few other scholars) mashaallah I can really feel the beauty of this sacred book of muslim. May Allah bless him and other scholars and give them a long life to teach☺. So recently, I watched a video on definition of success (now stop and define your success). Done?

It's a norm that people look at the million dollar in saving, gigantic house, enormous company, various titles or even seven-zero followers as a benchmark for success. It is all over the world. Most of us. Me.

But that is so narrow and shallow minded (I mean me but you can 'terasa' if you want hikhik) of a muslim to put such meaning on success. A muslim should be different. Indeed, Islam is very different. So, a muslim at heart should be different in thinking and giving perspective. Successful in Islam is not about how much you have or what you have achieved so far. Successful in Islam is all about you and god. The relationship between you and Allah.

We may see someone is lower than us in term of wealth or health, but beyond what eyes can see, he/she is more successful than us at another angle which is his/her commitment towards Allah. On the thing that matter most, he/she is superior than us, a better muslim and better in his/her taqwa.

But if we fail in dunya and fail also in akhirah matter. Double failure. Naudzubillahi min zalik😢😢

So, every time we want to compare ourselves with others, let it be our akhirah. Not a mere temporary dunya. Of course, we can have all the things we want and dream this and that. It is not against the rule of Islam. In fact, we can have the whole world (or universe if you like😍) but all those anything or everything should make us closer to our creator. That is how Islam teach us about being successful. Even in the Rasulullah era, there were so many sahabahs that can be considered millionaire in todays life. However their faith were not swayed by all the glories. They kept their standard of living only to seek Allah's blessing. Right?

So, in conclusion (my opinion), at the end, successful is not in this dunya. It is something closely related to akhirah. Let's be the people of akhirah, where Allah is the only reason and purpose.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Me and my twins.

So last year my mom gave birth to twins boy. And this year, a little earlier than expected, my whole family is coming to Egypt. Yayyyyy (please add some more Y). No, I'm not geaduating yet. As I told you, they just came earlier than what was scheduled which is to mean they will not be there on my convocation day. Huhu.

Did anyone asked how old I am? Well actually a bit old to have 1 year old baby twins. Plus I already have 2 niece and 2 coming-soon-nephew. Kannn? If Allah said 'kun', then who are we to deny? Anyway we are so happy la that we got twin😍

Ok, let's just get back to the story again.
Well, you know that Egypt has so many valuable mosque all around. And mosques touring is a must in Egypt. So, the first day they arrived, I took them there and explained about those historical mosque. And now...time for a pictureeee....

Oh yeah, before I forgot, I need to mention to you that I'm bad at memorizing name eventhough I ask countless of times😢. The case is, I need to have some connection with that particular person in order to remember their name better. Sorry I just need to mention this because it is part of the story😁

Then we arranged ourselve but not formally. Just a fancy photo of us and we can't wish for formal decent family potrait with growing up twins.boys😒😒. It just fact. 

So the big brother was setting up the camera whilst the sister was gathering around him when I found our little cheeky babies still playing around the mosque. Here we go.. 

I played a role as a big sister and took a hand of one of them leaving the other one because I'm sure once the 2mins25secs brother is controlled the other half will automatically be controlled too. Haha. And yes, they were. Easy as peanut butter right?!

But suddenly the 2mins25secs brother blocked one my sister's face. Here is where all my secret got revealed. I wanted to ask 2.25 (refer above) to move a little but I forgot his name😭😭😭 and I was like, to my sister 'hey sape name dia?' and all the families turn to me and 'serius la weii dia dah setahun kottt...'

'Adam. His name is Adam. Senang gila kot nak ingat'. I was sad and feel bad too but still act cool 'Yes Adam, can you move slightly to your left. Everyone want to be in the picture'. And he followed this ungrateful sister of her. Maybe because he still doesn't understand a thing. And thereee...his inside-womb-partner was playingggg!!! And again I would like to call him but I!

Nuh?Alias?Muhammad? No I can't. I screamed to me in my heart 'What the h**l with ya Fathima. Kau canang ukhwah Islamiah, baca buku HAB, khatam Fiqh Dakwah but you don't remember name???' I was about to cry when suddenly...

Tadaaa my baby twins yang I pinjam kejap. Kikiki

'Wei, Subuh,'

Woke up swearing to myself and be like 'mom, I'm the one supposed to have twins'

I want twins, but here I am proudly being single and free.

Thank you for reading this nonsense article. Haha. 
Wish you healthy babies all preggies out there specially my Kak Nyah and Debob😉

Sunday, May 8, 2016


Sollu alan nabi

Saya sering merasakan kesederhanaan bergantung atas individu. Kadang kita merasakan kita sudah habis sederhana, namun di mata orang kita berlebih-lebihan. Contohnya dari segi kekayaan bagi jutawan, mungkin membelanjakan ribuan sehari adalah sederhana baginya namun tidak pada pandangan si miskin.

Namun, buku ini mencerahkan. Ada panduan menjadi sederhana. Ada garisan yang mengukur kesederhanaan kita. Yang pertama adalah niat! Tentu sekali, apabila berbicara tentang niat maka kita ingat kembali pada hadis pertama dari matan arbain. Setiap hal perlu lurus kerana Allah. Kebaikan amal tersebut akan kembali kepada kita.

Kembali kepada perbincangan tentang sederhana. Saya akan bawakan contoh sahaja untuk pemahaman yang lebih jelas

1) Dalam konteks sebagai pelajar (sekarang musim exam pon ye dok): seorang pelajar begitu rajin pagi hingga malamnya terisi dengan mengulangkaji dan menelaah. Malangnya pelajar ini kurang perhatian pada sahabatnya. Sakitkah atau laparkah. Barangkali juga pelajar ini yang jatuh lelah kerana berlebih-lebihannya dalam belajar. Sedangkan dia perlu menunaikan hak atas dirinya, keluarganya, sahabatnya dan tetangganya. (Pelajar yang malas jangan gembira dulu ye ;p)
Seorang lagi pelajar mungkin bijaksana maka dia menghabiskan masanya dengan perkara-perkara yang lagho dan sedikit sekali waktunya terisi untuk menuntut ilmu sedangkan itulah tanggungjawab seorang pelajar. Maka, dia dikatakan telah berlebihan dalam kemalasannya. Jadi solusinya?

2) Ibadah. Jangan tak percaya ada juga orang yang dikatakan berlebihan dalam ibadah (padahal ibadah kot kan. Mendekatkan diri kepada tuhan kot). Diceritakan pada zaman Rasulullah terdapat sahabat yang berhasrat berpuasa sepanjang tahun. Lalu Rasulullah menegahnya dan Rasulullah menasihatkan untuk merayakan Aidilfitri. Reward diri yang dah berjaya tahan lapar sambil ziarah jauh serta dekat. Bagaimana bersederhana dalam ibadah?

3) Makan dan minum. Apakah tujuan makan dan minum? Ya sekadar untuk menghilangkan lapar dahaga supaya kembali cergas melakukan ketaatan. Jika makan sampai tak muat perut tahulah apa jawapannya. Begitu juga jika langsung tidak makan konon-konon berdiet sampai nak angkat takbir pun tak larat.
P/s: makanan tu sila habiskan. Rasa nak dush dush je orang yang tak reti habiskan makanan ni

Okay boleh la tu contoh dan gambaran kan. Kesimpulannya, sederhana ini tergantung pada niat, tujuan dan cita-cita. Mengapa ingin kaya? Kenapa taknak kerja? Kenapa nak ada kereta rumah mewah? Kenapa nak duduk tepi jalan? Semuanya, jika jawapan tidak menuju Allah, maka itulah yang dikatakan berlebihan baik yang dicitakan itu hal yang bagus atau sekadar kecil-kecilan.

Perbetulkan niat, tunaikan hak, lakukan dengan bertunjangkan iman dan bervisikan akhirat.
Sebelum melakukan sesuatu perkara, fikirkan sebab dan akibat serta buruk dan manfaatnya. Jangan lupa...istiqamah! Itulah nilaian sederhana yang sebenarnya.

Nota kaki: Sederhana dalam bercita-cita
Nota kaki lagi: Sederhana dalam melaksanakan cita-cita

P/s: Tanda soal tu jawab tau, jangan biar kosong :)

P/ss: Tak faham tanya k?!

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Ladies, it's our day!

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Allahumma solli 'ala saiyidina Muhammad

I hope this is not too late post to say happy International Women's Day eventhough we arw women every day and every day is women day. Yeahhh!!!
Before I go further saying about this woman things, let me tell you something which I can put under my childhoodmemories hashtag (#childhoidmemories). It's new hashtag guys. Haha. Well, like I said, it was childhood age and I was as some of you know hardly behave with ill manner stubborn little girl. There was little time I didn't give my parents headache. Sorry sorry sorry (with SuJu background music) mak, ayah.

I couldn't remember the exact time, date, day when most of us gathered in our new not so new (at least younger than the house itself) living room but I remember what happen then. Chatting, laughing, kidding around and...crying. Yup, me...crying!
M: Actually Imah was a boy but the doctor was so careless that he/she overcut yours during circumcision.
I: *replied with burst of tears and shout all over whilst putting handmade pillow on my face*
M: No lah. I'm just kidding.
So, that was how I hate being a boy. Haha. Although I befriend boys a lot during school years (before I went to all girls boarding school) since my cousins of my generation are all boys *tears*

And I was quite feminist too.

A guided feminist ;p

Let's get to the point ladiesss!
Do you know when was International Women's Day first introduced? To be franks, I'm not sure either. But it was hundred years agi and formerly known as International Working Women's Day. Since then, this day celebrated every year on 8th of March with different issues but the same goal. To empower all women over the globe and to educate us (women) in regard our roles not just ib building steong family institution but also enhancing sustainable society. That so, other than increase our knowledge in our discipline, we also need to expand awareness on current issues especially involving children, youth problem, health care, women politicion, working mothers and many more if you want to list it all!

The feeling is very unsettling hearing news on women oppression in other side of world. Too vex reading about women discrimination (just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, will write a review later) at some part of the world. However, sadder it is, to witness our lucky women in peace and full of freedom, deserted the oppurtunity and worst of it, throw ourselves into very vague things. Chasing for fame, too overwhelmed in extra beauty (we are all pretty enough ok), far too updated to recent fashion yet deficient in covering our nobility and many other things that need improvement.

Remember a verse from Al-Quran (Malay translation):
Sesungguhnya pembazir-pembazir itu adalah saudara-saudara syaitan dan syaitan itu sangatlah ingkar kepada tuhannya (Al-Isra':27)

And also (Malay translation):
Hai anak Adam, pakailah pakaianmu yang indah di setiap (memasuki) masjid, makan dan minumlah dan janganlah berlebih-lebihan. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyukai orang-orang yang berlebih-lebihan (Al-A'raf: 31)

And hadis from Rasulullah s.a.w about us (Malay translation):
Berpesanlah kebaikan pada wanita, kerana sesungguhnya wanita itu tercipta dari tulang rusuk dan sesungguhnya yang paling bengkok dari tulang rusuk adalah bahagian atasnya. Jika engkau meluruskannya nescaya engkau mematahkannya dan jika engkau membiarkannya maka ia akan tetap bengkok. Maka berpesanlah kebaikan pada wanita.

Let us spend more on bridging knowledge and improvise whatever we can as a woman. We can change. Shine inside, bright out!

Happy International Women's Day!

Footnote: First and foremost to the writer meself :)