Maybe... I've had.
BTW I'm posting today because one of my friend said she had seen me leaving my blog so long already haha. So gave some thought and decided to write this up. Hope it is beneficial (though she wanted and update about my travelling in Sabah. Haha. Maybe a later time for that one. Hehe)
Before that, salam wa rahmatullahi alaikum. Sollu alan nabi :)
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Recently I found this one aayah from Al-Quran very calming and soothing (and the most important part is it makes me rethink the degree of my reliant and dependancy to Allah). But yeah, it is Al-Quran, some of the aayah make you learn, some make you trembling with fear, some bring your mind to sanity, some to ease your heart. It works many ways but everything for reason to remind us of Allah. His greatness, loves and mercy He bestows upon us through Al-Quran.
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'...and I entrust my affair to Allah. Indeed, Allah is Seeing of (His) servants'
Al- Ghafir 40:44
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We (I) always work thinking I am on my own so when trouble come I started to stressed-out, anxious, panic not knowing what to do. Sometime friends are helpful but what they have also limited. Then stressed-out again, feeling alone, want to quit, giving up and all. And the unhelpful person? Ughh..more stress. But you know, that is only what we think.
Imagine having someone telling you that He knows you. All about you. What is in your mind, what is happening to you, your feeling, your problems and even something that even you cannot fathom, He knows it all. And you know that He indeed knows! You know that He is indeed closer to you than your jugular vein. You know that He is always near, always there, always so helpful, always love, always want the best for you. Mashaallah, doesn't that lives up our spirit? Doesn't it takes away our burden and the hard feelings in our hearts?
So when I thought of that, I ponder if all this time or anytime in my life I had believing Him the wrong way to fill my crave and 'using' Him to my advantage.
As I read the aayah multiple times, I realize that I need to rely on Him, being hopeful to Him, believe in Him, trust Him better. Only Him, not even myself. Believe that come whatever may or whatever happen, all the things is in His hand and control. Trust Him that after all my hardwork (let say I work hard) but the result is not as what I wish it to be, I still believe that it is a good thing from god because, simply said it is from Him and remember? He knows His servant and always give only the best for His servants (Allah is Seeing of His servants).
Actually it helps. It does bring some sort of serene in your heart knowing (and believing) that someone is protecting you and having all your affairs taken care of and it keeps you composed and contented considering that whatever the outcome at the end of after a long day, it is all for the best. Not in my faculty of thought but in His 'significs' because you know, sometime my wish is only a greed.
So, include Him when we want to start our works. Include Him everytime and in all our tasks. He is so reliable, so helpful, He has every single thing that we are in need of. Clearly it is only our lost if we didn't have Him in our day, right? How to have Him?
Our intention. This aayah. Say it everytime you wanna begin something small or big. May it change our life bit by bit.
So, this is what I want to be in 2022.
A better believer. To trust Him better. To have Him in all my affairs. Give my best and leave the rest (result) to Allah. Inshaallah.
Bismillahi tawakkaltu alallah.
Now, come what my may, I got a Great God.
I entrust all my affairs to you, my Lord. So, make me happy with every single thing that You confer to me regardless of how unfavourable it seems to my eyes for You are the best giver.
I might stumble. Hold me tight. I might fall. Raise me up.
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Thank you for reading this and till next post.
Me gustas tu.
Oh yeah, I just lost my grandma that I love sooo dearly (we call her tok) last week (keeping myself calm now I still grieve from her lost). Please send her your prayers and to me too. When I went to visit her, she always said my masak merah is so good and the rice that I cook is nice or in her words, 'jadi elok' but I never took a hint.
I'll miss you tok. Have a much much better meal in jannah. Ameen.
