Is Hijrah Getting Easier?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Allahumma solli 'ala saiyidina Muhammad
Assalamualaikum and hello everyone.

Reminder: A bit melancholy

If life were just about me, I would choose to stay where I am. To be who I am. Just this. But...

As we enter another Muharram, another new Hijrah year, today—more than any other day—reminds me of the many paths I’ve taken, whether willingly or under pressure. How many steps I’ve taken either eagerly or with heaviness in my heart.

I started living away from my parents at the age of 13. (I know many millennial kids had to leave their sweet homes even earlier than that.) From then on, house, even if  still home, has became a place I visited every once in a while—until now. I don’t remember clearly whether I had a tough time or an easy one, or if making decisions ever felt simple. But I do remember being very homesick, especially when I was thousands of miles away across many countries. Still, there were good memories with friends too.

Maybe it’s because “this is what I have to do” was so deeply planted in my mind that living life as it came was never a big issue.

Perhaps it’s not too much to say that the most painful moment was leaving you behind.
Wait—no—it was me who was left behind.
I had no idea what would happen or how I was going to move forward after losing the person I cherished so much. Still, with heart deep in dejection (at that time), I made the decision to leave the place where you stays, though I have to bear carried the feelings I had for you for many years. I had that courage, I overcame my sadness because “this is what I have to do.” Was it a big hijrah? I am not sure myself.

Now, it’s a whole different story.
When I no longer have to move, what once was motivation has become a big question..

“Is this what I have to do?”

And then the bigger one..

“Is this what I really want to do?”

It feels as if the call for hijrah is returning—after a few years of plateau.
As much as I want to move far forward, I also want to embrace all that is here.
And as much as I want to progress in many angles of my life—career, relationship, business, spirituality—I also want to enjoy my time for myself. Just like this. Just like now.

But without hijrah, there is no way forward.

I wish hijrah were as easy as before. When I was young and inspired.

But if it were easy, we wouldn’t call it hijrah. And it is only meant to be meaningful when it is hard.

Begitulah..

'Go forth, whether light or heavy, and strive with your wealth and your lives in the cause of Allah . That is better for you, if you only knew'
(9:41)

P/s: Salam ma'al hijrah, salam Jumu'ah mubarakah.
P/ss: Trivia - 1 Muharram is not actually the date of first hijrah Rasulullah.


Till next post!