The Educated, The Wise and The Leader

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Allahumma solli 'ala saiyidina Muhammad

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone

Recently a video fyp on my tt. A video where a lady commenting or agreeing to a man unwilling to marry a woman with higher education level. For context, actually it was a stitch video (lady) to a street interview video (man). I couldn't remember the exact question in the interview but remember the guy in the video stating that he wouldn't marry a girl who has higher education level than him. Of course, a lot of women gave their opinions, in support and also in oppose to the thought. Well, never mind because to each their own, right? But, the lady (seemed like) concluded any man with that kind of thought actually possesses a set of leadership skill. Nahh, here is her notion to which I think is only surface. And I would like to give some input. 

Unfortunately, in reality, better education does not always equate to better leadership. One can have a PhD yet struggle with personal relationship. It is not one or two cases couple have to separate because their male partner were not as expected in term of delivering effective leadership. Poor communication, lack of understanding, fail to prioritize and other lack of value required to be a good leader. 

If by 'better education' he meant academic qualifications (like a dip, degree so on), then that view might be limiting. What if a man stops at a diploma and a woman can't proceed to a degree? 🤷‍♀️. Shouldn't a marriage or relationship grows you in mind, soul and..

body? If a man decided to end his education journey and automatically a woman have to follow suit, how and where the generations should take the inspiration? Of course there were thousands other outside, but it will be better if the family fly together. I think.

However, if by 'better education,' he meant wisdom, then I agree (though not the same - maybe he wants to rephrase that). I agree a man should be wiser, more rational, and able to make thoughtful decisions as a family leader. But here is the problem..even education alone doesn’t guarantee wisdom. Wisdom is gained through knowledge of various stages and experiences, good manners, and associating oneself with scholars to learn from them. Education level is a social formality (which is too surface to interpret one's wisdom) - a person can be formally educated but own only such level of thinking. A person may have multiple qualifications but unable to cerebrate and show quality leadership. And vice versa.

Both leadership and wisdom is part of character building. They are not self-activating with education no matter how high. To have the character, you need to socialize with right people, get experiences outside your comfort zone, read related books and be practical. Education is one thing. Leadership and wisdom are another things. Sounds similar but different.

In conclusion:

1. People should have a thirst for knowledge, and even if someone isn't a philomath, they should support others who want to progress.

2. Leadership isn’t determined solely by academic qualifications, though education can contribute to it.

3. Wisdom is a lifelong pursuit; it doesn't start with SPM and doesn’t end with a PhD.

Another conclusion:

You can marry a girl with lower academic qualification/education than you, but she is far better in conveying her thought process and reason her action. 

Anyway, again, to each their own.

P/s Happy Chinese New Year. (Am I late?)

Till next post!

Letting Go and Letting God- Rosse's Version

Watched for the third time yesterday🫣 and still emotional. And as we get new perspective when we re-read any book, I got new light watching this for the third time. 

Remember how I dreamt to be in airforce. Liking Nuri shirt (it was Tabung Nuri by Bank Rakyat not sure now still exist or not) just because it reminds me of Nuri Airfighter Craft. Motif gila kan. Oh all the while heard multiple times about Nuri aircraft crushed, never single news shake me. Ended up being a medical student and announced to everyone during orientation day 'I dont want to be doctor, I want to be tentera udara'. Motif juga lagi macam 💩 bila ku ingat kahkah. Graduated medical school, thinking of joining military as a doctor. Met a military doctor in an event, inquired about it. 'Oh, started last year they do not open for grad outside UPNM anymore'. Wow, what a timing. Btw, I respect her (and others as her alike) that she didn't look down on me because of my height knowing that it would be so much at disadvantage. Not like somebody else. C you. 

Du'a=the light. 

Never once. Ever since I was child with that ambition, burning in my heart. Never once. Until I graduated. Never once. 

Never once I put that in my du'a. I can pray as it can make all things possible. Namun, tidak pernah terlintas di fikiran, tergerak di hati untuk berkata 'tuhan aku nak jadi tentera udara'. When I prayed to get excellent grades in every tests, never once He put the thought of asking that to Him. But the thing I always ask is to make me a good doctor, free my patients from my possible mistakes and not to harm them due to my shortness in knowledge. 

I wonder, why I never asked god that though I usually prayed for everything I desire. 

2:216

And everything falls perfectly to reason. To His knowing, the All-knowers, He plans everything and indeed it is the best plan. I again, put my trust and belief in You. 

Thank you, for showing it all at the end of 2022. Guide me to go through 2023. Ease my task, give me peace of heart. 

Allow me to be and do what You think is best for me and my akhirah🤍

Will I be praying for that now? 

No.

Sollu alan nabi

Have I'd been believing God Wrongly?

Maybe... I've had. 

BTW I'm posting today because one of my friend said she had seen me leaving my blog so long already haha. So gave some thought and decided to write this up. Hope it is beneficial (though she wanted and update about my travelling in Sabah. Haha. Maybe a later time for that one. Hehe)

Before that, salam wa rahmatullahi alaikum. Sollu alan nabi :)

*****

Recently I found this one aayah from Al-Quran very calming and soothing (and the most important part is it makes me rethink the degree of my reliant and dependancy to Allah). But yeah, it is Al-Quran, some of the aayah make you learn, some make you trembling with fear, some bring your mind to sanity, some to ease your heart. It works many ways but everything for reason to remind us of Allah. His greatness, loves and mercy He bestows upon us through Al-Quran.

*****

'...and I entrust my affair to Allah. Indeed, Allah is Seeing of (His) servants'

Al- Ghafir 40:44

***** 

We (I) always work thinking I am on my own so when trouble come I started to stressed-out, anxious, panic not knowing what to do. Sometime friends are helpful but what they have also limited. Then stressed-out again, feeling alone, want to quit, giving up and all. And the unhelpful person? Ughh..more stress. But you know, that is only what we think.

Imagine having someone telling you that He knows you. All about you. What is in your mind, what is happening to you, your feeling, your problems and even something that even you cannot fathom, He knows it all. And you know that He indeed knows! You know that He is indeed closer to you than your jugular vein. You know that He is always near, always there, always so helpful, always love, always want the best for you. Mashaallah, doesn't that lives up our spirit? Doesn't it takes away our burden and the hard feelings in our hearts?

So when I thought of that, I ponder if all this time or anytime in my life I had believing Him the wrong way to fill my crave and 'using' Him to my advantage.

As I read the aayah multiple times, I realize that I need to rely on Him, being hopeful to Him, believe in Him, trust Him better. Only Him, not even myself. Believe that come whatever may or whatever happen, all the things is in His hand and control. Trust Him that after all my hardwork (let say I work hard) but the result is not as what I wish it to be, I still believe that it is a good thing from god because, simply said it is from Him and remember? He knows His servant and always give only the best for His servants (Allah is Seeing of His servants).

Actually it helps. It does bring some sort of serene in your heart knowing (and believing) that someone is protecting you and having all your affairs taken care of and it keeps you composed and contented considering that whatever the outcome at the end of after a long day, it is all for the best. Not in my faculty of thought but in His 'significs' because you know, sometime my wish is only a greed.  

So, include Him when we want to start our works. Include Him everytime and in all our tasks. He is so reliable, so helpful, He has every single thing that we are in need of. Clearly it is only our lost if we didn't have Him in our day, right? How to have Him? 

Our intention. This aayah. Say it everytime you wanna begin something small or big. May it change our life bit by bit.

So, this is what I want to be in 2022.

A better believer. To trust Him better. To have Him in all my affairs. Give my best and leave the rest (result) to Allah. Inshaallah.

Bismillahi tawakkaltu alallah.

Now, come what my may, I got a Great God.

I entrust all my affairs to you, my Lord. So, make me happy with every single thing that You confer to me regardless of how unfavourable it seems to my eyes for You are the best giver.

I might stumble. Hold me tight. I might fall. Raise me up. 

*****

Thank you for reading this and till next post. 

Me gustas tu.

Oh yeah, I just lost my grandma that I love sooo dearly (we call her tok) last week (keeping myself calm now I still grieve from her lost). Please send her your prayers and to me too. When I went to visit her, she always said my masak merah is so good and the rice that I cook is nice or in her words, 'jadi elok' but I never took a hint. 

I'll miss you tok. Have a much much better meal in jannah. Ameen.